let's face facts

I can't believe how fast that kid was able to make my order, spit in it, and deliver it to the drive-up window. Friends, I've had the unfortunate experience of eating at some fast food places lately because I like feeling like shit. But I'm hear to complain about something very important today.

These fast food places are becoming too efficient.

When I drive up I'd like a minute to look over my menu options. Oops, no time for that. Because, you see, the magical order-taking speaker is part of the menu. And the person on the other end of this magical device is asking me for my order the second I pull up. At least, I think they are. I hear something like "Welcome touf thioughotu burger jfoduu ocombo meal?"

So I sit there looking over my options knowing that this person is waiting on me. Oh no, now a car pulled up behind me. Damnit, they're waiting on me too. Why couldn't there have been a car in front of me when I pulled up? Oh wait, that wouldn't have mattered either, because I can't read the sign from two cars back. Why couldn't I have been at Burger King where there's a 'preview' sign before I get to the magical ordering machine. Oh wait, that 'preview' sign only has combo choices on it. I'm screwed.

So finally I place my order which is completely screwed up. I have hardly heard my options from the magical machine anyway. I think I did make out "Please drive around". So I do that. But shit, now I have to pay for this stuff. And my wallet is in my pants. I can't reach it. I have to drive around this bend and reach in my pants. I usually only do that in dark places. Oh no, now I'm at the window. This person is waiting for my money. Do I have change to give her? Screw it, here's a 20 dollar bill for that 99 cent fries. But please take it fast, because I see the lady at the next window dangling my helpless fries. If I don't get there soon, she'll drop them and my life will be over.

Ok, now I zoom up and grab the bag. Mission accomplished. Let me drive a little bit and check this bag. Oh crap, they gave me onion rings instead of fries. What have I done to deserve this? Let's face facts, getting fast food these days is just too fast.